How many people do you know who have gone on a diet and kept all their weight off? In my memory, I know two or three people. They didn’t have much weight to lose, and usually the weight had come on over a holiday season or a vacation. They took it off. Two or three people is less than .0001% of the dieting population.
Why is that? Almost all the diets I see advertised, show happy people on the day they reach their goal weight. I can’t help but wonder what those people look like five years later. Chances are good they have gained all their weight back plus more.
We live in a world of instant gratification. I want this and I want in NOW. We wake up one morning with a burst of willingness to do something about our weight. We know ourselves well enough to realize the willingness many not last long. We jump on the computer and google “Can’t Stop Eating” or “Lose weight” and then shuffle through the sites that come up. The one with the most bling, the best razzle-dazzle, and the promise that in just one month, you can lose up to thirty pounds jumps out at you. You’re afraid if you don’t plunk down your money now, you’ll lose your willingness and not do anything. Congratulations! You’ve signed up for a diet that has the absolute best marketing plan and knows how to take advantage of your desperation.
You are not alone. I’ve done that. We’ve all done that. And it doesn’t seem to matter how intelligent we are. At the moment of willingness and desperation, we are blind to everything except the overwhelming desire to lose weight NOW.
Some of us may take all our weight off quickly, some of us may make it half-way, and some may falter out of the starting gate. It doesn’t really matter. What all the research has shown, both my personal research and professional research, is that without changing ways of thinking and much of our behavior, we’ll gain the weight back. Then we hang our head in shame, want to disappear from the world, and take one more step towards disconnecting from our feelings, our hearts, and our souls.
The truth is that changing our relationship with food is hard work. Any diet program that doesn’t tell you that is lying, is more concerned with making money than they are with your health, both mental and physical. If you are forty years old, you’ve been doing something for twenty or thirty years that has resulted in you being overweight, underweight, or trying to manage your weight with vomiting or exercise bulimia. No one can undo that in thirty days. What is wrong with us is three fold. One, we have physical problem. We abuse our bodies with food, some make it much worse by vomiting or anorexia. Two, we have an emotional problem. We have no idea how to live with the range of human feelings we all experience. We let our feelings run our lives. Three, we have a spiritual problem. Most of us have a huge, empty hole in our souls that we are desperately trying to fill up. We try to fill it with food, or alcohol, or sex, or any variety of things. And the hole stays empty because we don’t have any idea what to really do.
We need help. We need the kind of help that treats what is wrong with us. We need a three-fold solution not a diet. In my experience the only solution is a twelve-step program or any program that treats the three problems. I like twelve-step programs because they are free, they work, and it’s a ‘together’ program. We all recover together. I found Greysheeters Anonymous. I now live in the solution. I live in today. I’m pretty darn sure I will never be normal around food. It hasn’t happened in over sixty years so it’s very unlikely. I crossed some invisible line when I was very young. I’m a food addict. GSA has helped me accept that I am what I am. It gives me a food plan that won’t trigger my addiction. I have learned what behaviors lead me back into active addiction and which ones lead me away. At some point I realized that something miraculous had happened: the impossible. I hadn’t binged in years; I was right size. Did I mention GSA is free and that it works!!! That hole in my soul is filled with gratitude for the life I live today.
It’s January. It’s the month so many of us swear we are going to lose weight. I encourage you to save your money and try something new.
Please look under Resources on this blog. Especially go to YouTube and do a search for the GreySheet channel and you can hear lots of people tell their stories. And if you feel moved to tell me your story, I would be honored.