“Withdrawal occurs once a person stops eating any addictive food. Though abstaining from foods is a contentious subject in the scientific literature, there is no question that it will cause a level of discomfort that often drives addicts back to eating…

Feelings of deprivation, obsessions about food, and anxiety arising from unresolved trauma that was being ‘medicated’ by the addictive foods may appear like spectres that linger, worsening before they get better…” ― Vera Tarman, Food Junkies: The Truth About Food Addiction

Dr Tarman’s book. Available at your Indie Bookstore or Amazon.com

All my life, I was told that I just needed to get a grip, pull my bootstraps up, that discipline was the word when it comes to dieting. That I couldn’t diet or, if I did lose weight on some diet, wasn’t able to keep it off, caused me no end of shame and humiliation. It was reflected in every area of my life. I was known as the girl who could never finish anything. I would be gun-ho about learning to play the guitar and after four lessons, I was ready to give up. In my head, I had determined how much I should know after four sessions. It didn’t happen that way.

After I became a therapist, I started doing research on different drugs. I went to recovery centres, asked a lot of questions and took careful notes. One thing that stood out everywhere was addiction professionals telling me that sugar was harder to kick than heroin. I’ve never tried heroin so I can’t speak from my own experience. These people were speaking from experience of their work, having done brain research and talking to multi-addicted addicts. ‘Why didn’t people tell me this?’ I wailed internally, ‘How could they let me think that getting off sugar was easy or should be easy?’ More research and more talking revealed that the majority of people just plain didn’t know. Neither of my parents had a weight problem. They had nothing to go on except what they were told. Food was food. Why would anything be suspect of a hidden drug with the power of heroin. Alcohol and drugs were different. People my parents age had seen Days of Wine And Roses and Man with the Golden Arm. They were the real mccoy. Take sugar and grains away from a practicing food addict and you will see a similar type of withdrawal as to drugs. It is so uncomfortable and scary that, unless a person has been forwarned to expect a time of de-toxing, the compulsive eater will ran as fast as she or he can to the refridgerator or McDonalds.

If you are jonesing for sugar and flour and going through withdrawal without much support, which of these is going to be calling your name? Do food addicts have a chance?

How do we get educated? How do we help our families, ourselves, our students, our patients? First take an honest look around you. Obesity is on the rise at a deadly speed. Then ask people what diet they tried and how well it worked. 9.9 people out of ten will tell you they lost weight only to gain it all back. The only honest places to really get information is one of the twelve-step programs that deals with food. They make no money, they are just one person trying to help another person. One person who has suffered from weight-related issues, shame, humiliation, unable to work or can’t get a job because of their weight telling another person “I get it. I’ve been there too.

I’ve heard it said that “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety/abstinence but is connectedness”. It’s easy for the disease of food addiction to ruin a person’s life. The fatter they get, the more shame they feel, the more they isolate. Reaching out to others who have the same problem, can tell you what to expect as you detox from the foods we are allergic to, brings one back to community. Wise people have known for centuries that a group of people can often do what is impossible for the single person to do alone.

Think about it.

Sara

What is a food addict?

People ask me what I mean when I say I’m a food addict or a compulsive eater. The dictionary defines addiction as “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity: he committed the offence to finance his drug addiction | addiction to crack cocaine is spreading | [count noun] :  an addiction to gambling.” This isn’t exactly helpful since the definition assumes you understand addicted. The way I understand addiction is that one is compelled to keep doing something like eating, drinking alcohol, gambling. Even when one wants to stop, they are unable to. It seems to the person that they have lost all power to control what they are doing. An alcoholic will binge drink until he blacks out, there is no more alcohol to drink or he is in an accident or dies. A food addict is no different. In my case, the ingredients in alcohol are the substance I seem to be addicted to: grains and sugar. Once I put them in my body, I binge until I run out of food, pass out in sleep or have some kind of accident.

In Healthline.com, Kris Gunnars says there are eight common symptoms of food addiction:

Cravings, Eating more than intended, Eating until stuffed, Feelings of guilt, Making up excuses, Setting rules, Hiding food intake, Inability to quit. While food addiction is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), it typically involves binge eating behaviors, cravings, and a lack of control around food. http://www.healthline.com  

It is easy to think that if a person consumes a huge amount of food, they will be fat. This isn’t necessarily so. While it’s true that obesity is on the rise in USA and UK, teens, dancers, jockeys etc will learn to throw their food up after a meal. This is physical abuse that one does to oneself. It is as easy to get addicted to the throwing up as the eating and becomes a viscous circle. The movie Judy, that is in theatres right now, shows the result of Judy Garland being told she was too heavy as a child and the studio giving her pills. Then she needed pills to sleep. In the end, she died of all her pills.

The outside world sees a fat person or a horrendously thin person or someone who pushes food around on their plate but never actually eats. What isn’t well known, is what goes on inside the head of a food addict. The self-hatred, the anger, the pain, the panic attacks, the exhaustion that comes with an inability to sleep, feelings of hopelessness and despair are just some of the many mental and emotional symptoms that a food addict lives with and believes are true. Many people in recovery from alcoholism and food addiction believe that this is a disease. That it is a cancer that will eat a person up alive unless they get help. And of all ironies, the addict is just about as stubborn as they come and will reject any suggestions of help though they are screaming inside for someone to help them.

Food addiction is more rampant that one may think. Not all obese people are addicted but ingesting sugar and grains at high warp speed will push them closer to crossing the line. If a body is only fed these substances, it learns to subsist on them and cry out in rebellion if the addict takes them away. In future blogs, I will talk about why dieting doesn’t work. Why food addicts believe in magic and will do absolutely crazy things both to get food and thinking they will be cured. The world really needs more understanding that the food addict is not just some weak person who can’t take care of themselves but under the influence of substances much stronger than their will power.

Do you have a question about food addiction?

Sara

Saving Sara

I am a compulsive eater, a food addict. What does that mean? That means that, similar to an alcoholic who cannot stop drinking once booze is in their system, I start bingeing once certain foods are in my system. Bingeing is the same. Bingeing is doing something excessively, having no on/off button, completely unable to slow a speeding train down even though you know it will end in tears, self-hatred and recriminations. I’m that kind of compulsive eater. The foods that set off the bingeing are sugar, grains and refined carbohydrates.

I have compulsively eaten since I was a young girl. I didn’t know what was wrong. I knew I was different than other people and it seemed a very bad thing. I didn’t seem to fit in with girls my age. I would watch them and not understand how they knew to get along. I was often in trouble with my parents usually for disobedience, daydreaming, not trying hard to be a part of the family unit. I stole food out of the fridge all the time. I say stole because I was always sneaky about it. I knew even at that young age, it was wrong for me in my family to eat all the ice cream and not leave any for anyone else.

By the time I was in my fifties, I had spent my life trying to get thin, trying to understand what was wrong with me, trying to be happy, trying to be loved and, in my judgement, failing at everything. When I was fifty-eight, I gave up the fight. I discovered a solution for me, for my kind of compulsive eating. After fifteen years of recovery in that solution, I wrote a book: Saving Sara; A Memoir of Food Addiction. It will be published by She Writes Press May 12, 2020.

I wrote the book to tell other food addicts like me that there is hope. I had spent thousands of dollars on therapists. I had tried every diet under the sun except stapling my stomach. I had joined encounter groups and therapy groups, taken dangerous medications because they were advertised as reducing my appetite, bought over the counter medications that did nothing but they had pretty people in their ads. I had had shots in my butt and I don’t even want to know what was in that cocktail. I had tried hypnosis and religion. All in the hopes that I could get thin. Getting thin to me was the promise of happiness, that all my problems would go away, that people would like or love me. By the age of fifty-eight, I was running out of hope that there was a solution for someone like me. Thank goodness, I persisted.

This is a blog about food addiction. This is a blog written by a recovering food addict to give hope and inspiration to people like me. People who can’t stop bingeing. People who can’t stop self-destructing with food. It is also for their families who don’t understand what is happening to the people they love. Why they are so angry all the time? Why they feel criticised if someone makes the simplest suggestion. This blog will be a work in progress. There are a lot of blogs out there dealing with the same issues. Most are sincere and helpful. I hope that by adding my blog, people will benefit from the wealth of information accessible to them so they can take an action towards Hope.

Each week, I will pick a theme to discuss. I invite feedback and suggestions. I have found that on my own I never could have succeeded at most of my life goals. I have found that together, bringing out the best in each other, we can achieve what we thought was impossible. I invite you along for the ride.

Sara